The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.
Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.
Modesty is my best quality.
I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.