A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.
I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.
Modesty is my best quality.
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.