I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.

As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.

Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy.

There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.