Depression is something that has always figured in my life but now I'm dealing with it. I wish I'd done this years ago because it's been really helpful.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.

They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom

People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.