I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!

I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!

I've found that my humor goes over big in London.

The last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.

A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.