You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.
Jackie MasonBy these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?
Jackie MasonA schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.
Jackie MasonDid you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.
Jackie MasonI've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.
Jackie Mason