Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.

The New York Times does an unbelievable amount of damage because every day television and radio stations along with the rest of media take their lead on the way the news should be presented along with what actually is the news.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.