My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humor doesn't know what he's talking about.

A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.

When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!