Would you put a pastrami in your mouth if you didn't want to eat it?

I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!

Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.

Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.

When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!

Jews are told that they should spend their lives helping others and when they make a lot of money it really bothers them. So, as a way to decrease their guilt, they try to help the underdog. They think, "Why should I be rich when so many suffer?" They feel better once they run to the party that claims to defend the underdog, the Democrats.

Jews are living in the past and they can't get over it.