The Clintons represent the highest level of corruption, but no one has the courage to mention it. Instead they talk about Rudy Giuliani. Over a lifetime of excellent service, there's never been a hint of corruption in his behavior but everybody investigates him.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.

I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.

People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.

You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!