A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.

I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.