A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.

I always thought music was more important than sex—then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.

The New York Times claims that they publish all the news that's fit to print but what they really do is print all the news that supports their agenda. What they are is the power base of the left.

Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.

Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!