Jews are told that they should spend their lives helping others and when they make a lot of money it really bothers them. So, as a way to decrease their guilt, they try to help the underdog. They think, "Why should I be rich when so many suffer?" They feel better once they run to the party that claims to defend the underdog, the Democrats.
Jackie MasonThe last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.
Jackie MasonI'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!
Jackie MasonEverybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible.
Jackie MasonThe main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.
Jackie MasonProstitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?
Jackie MasonThey call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher. I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way. I used to watch a game, see the players in a huddle - and think they were talking about me.
Jackie Mason