Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.
Jackie MasonA schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.
Jackie MasonIt is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.
Jackie MasonI don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
Jackie MasonThe key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's "F" this and "F" that. They give you a whole series of swear words and it's really just a way for them to get themselves out of trouble when they can't come up with anything. They're irrelevant and ridiculous.
Jackie Mason