It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!

Predictions are preposterous.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room? Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's with a woman alone in a motel room? Why would he be interested? Whatever he's praying for, he's already got!

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

I have no idea what's going to happen with America in the future.