I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.

Predictions are preposterous. What usually happens is that people tell you that what they'd like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. There are so many variations and possibilities that there's no way to ever really know for certain.

The New York Times claims that they publish all the news that's fit to print but what they really do is print all the news that supports their agenda. What they are is the power base of the left.

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

People come to my shows and know that they're going to hear about what's going on in the world - what's happening at the moment. My material is as new as anything on the dinner table.

A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.