Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?

Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.

The last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.

There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.