Did you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.

You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.

Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.

I've found that my humor goes over big in London.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

Ten years ago if you would have told me that Mrs. Clinton would be the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, I'd have never believed you. Her only qualifications for office are that she's Mr. Clinton's partner. And what does that mean? The two of them stand for dishonesty and corruption.