America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.
Jackie MasonAs a class, Jews give three times as much money to charity as anybody else, but they feel guilty about their wealth anyway. They simply can't accept the idea of ever being Republicans.
Jackie MasonPeople come to my shows and know that they're going to hear about what's going on in the world - what's happening at the moment. My material is as new as anything on the dinner table.
Jackie Mason