Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room? Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's with a woman alone in a motel room? Why would he be interested? Whatever he's praying for, he's already got!

As a class, Jews give three times as much money to charity as anybody else, but they feel guilty about their wealth anyway. They simply can't accept the idea of ever being Republicans.

Even the Republican Party doesn't have the legs to challenge Hillary Clinton.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

The Clintons represent the highest level of corruption, but no one has the courage to mention it. Instead they talk about Rudy Giuliani. Over a lifetime of excellent service, there's never been a hint of corruption in his behavior but everybody investigates him.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!