I don't remember any blue poodles.

Somebody has said that woman's place is in the wrong. That's fine. What the wrong needs is a woman's presence and a woman's touch. She is far better equipped than men to set it right.

Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a high point they can become wit, but unlike the French and the English, we have not been much good at wit since the days of Benjamin Franklin.

I never quite know when I'm not writing. Sometimes my wife comes up to me at a party and says, "Dammit, Thurber, stop writing." She usually catches me in the middle of a paragraph.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.