Gray Davis got some good news this week: the Clintons are out here in California campaigning for him. Actually, Hillary is campaigning for Davis, Bill is out here for Larry Flynt.

Rick Perry told reporters this week that he has a permit to carry a concealed handgun. He also has a concealed vocabulary, concealed knowledge of the issues, concealed tolerance.

When they said "Make love, not war" at Woodstock, they never imagined that one would become as dangerous as the other.

Ratings for the XFL are so low that pretty soon they'll be able to address the viewers by name.

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?

Arnold said this is a last minute attack by Democrats. How did Arnold know to grope only Democrats?

Oliver North says he is very upset that John Walker could come back to this country and cash in on his celebrity status. He hates to see someone who did something wrong get rewarded by writing a book or getting a TV show out of it.