Sen. Joe Biden, on the day of announcing his candidacy for president of the United States, called Barack Obama the first mainstream African-American who is articulate, bright, and . . . clean. I think we've seen the shortest presidential campaign in history.

President Obama gave a big speech on climate change. He believes global warming is getting worse because apparently he's sweating a lot more during his second term

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

President Obama flew to a rally in Las Vegas last night. However, he did not visit any of the casinos. You know why? When you're $16 trillion in debt, they don't let you in.

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

Thanksgiving began in 1621 when Native Americans sat down with a bunch of undocumented pilgrims. They had dinner and the pilgrims never left.

I don't want to say Gray Davis is on the run, but today he released an audiotape on the Al Jazeera network from his underground bunker somewhere in the Sacramento area.