After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.