I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.