I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.