I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights