You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I model irregular clothing.

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.