Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.