Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.