It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.