My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

You might recognize me, I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

I model irregular clothing.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?