I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.