I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.