My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings
My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.