I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights
A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?