The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.

I think if you can write a play, or produce a play, the first step toward success [is] if people don't want to kill themselves in the lobby. Now there must be four or five other steps, but that's the first.

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.