... it's impossible to register any emotion without using some muscle which, in time, will produce a wrinkle. ... By the time she is thirty, a starlet has been carefully taught to smile like a dead halibut. The eyes widen, the mouth drops open, but the eye muscles are never involved.

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people - with agents.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.