I think I will die laughing.
When I'm laid in my coffin, I want you to put a picture of my grandchild to the right of me and and a picture of my daughter to my left. That way they will be buried with me.
My sight is bad, my hearing is bad, I feel bad, but I don't suffer, I don't complain.
Wit doesn't make girls pretty.
I only have one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.
Excuse me if I'm clinging on to life, but my parents wove me from tight thread.