If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.