If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.