If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.