You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!