You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.