If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.