If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.