If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.