If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.