Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.