You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.