You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.