I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.