You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.