People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.