I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.