I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!