I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.