You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.