I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!
You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.