Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.