We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'