You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.