You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass.

My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.