You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.